Monday, October 3, 2011

there was a girl

"My heart booms at the speed of light,
But the exit sign's always on my mind,
Always in my sight.
I could say that I really want to stay,
But the monster outside always wins the fight,

It's eating me alive,
Unable to rewind.
Sink deeper while I'm climbing,
Never to arriveGet out. No. Thisisn'trealyoucan'tmakeme.

"Dead star shine
Light up the sky
I'm all out of breath
My walls are closing innomywallsaregonewheredidmywallsgo

"Hungry bread-and-butter hussle.
You been doin' it a while, it's only fair.

"I've seen this city a thousand times.
From the glass, twenty stories high, 
I've watched this city burn.
If everything you've said is true,
There's no hope that someday they will learn.
But if I stay here with you,
Then they will never learn the truththiscan'tbehappeningthiscan'tberealohgodstopstopplease

"There was a girl who had the faith to move a mountain,
And, like a child, she would believe without a reason.
Without a trace, she disappeared into the void, and
noIwon't I won't believe this you'renotrealdon'tdon'tDON'TI'm not strong enough to stay away.Can't resistNothing to lose,Can't run from you,Poisoning the message.Nothing to gain.I just run back to you.Just a narcissist.Nothing surrounds me.Like a moth, I'm drawn 
into your flame,Trapped inside the wreckage,Nothing stays the same.Say my name, but it's not the same.Moving all around,And the sympathy I had is gone.You look in my eyes, I'm stripped of my pride.Screaming of the ups and downs.I fought so longAnd my soul surrenders and you bring my 
heart to it's knees.Pollution manifested in perpetual sound.To keep from going under. 
I don't have to worry,The wheels go 'round and the sunset creepsBut why hang on?'Cause I 
know Slendy's watching me.Behind street-lamps, chain-link, and concrete.Nothing matters at 
all.No one else sees him, it seems.A little piece of paper with a picture drawnNothing at 
all.He follows me in my dreams.Floats on down the street 'til the wind is gone,
try to hide it,And it finds me.And the memory nowIs like the picture was then:To 
avoid the shock,The fight inside is coursing through me.When 
the paper's crumpled upBut I get pulled inside it:And it binds me. 
It can't be perfect again,My Nothing Box.The fight inside is killing 
me again.Dead star shine,In my dreams I see you come to 
me,Have you ever felt this way before?Light up the sky.
memory of times old.'Cause I don't wanna hide here 
anymore.I'm all out of breath.Waking up, I realize 
Hell's cool as ice,Take me to a place where nothing's wrong,
andMy walls are closing in.And the touch of sin did get 
me in."Thanks for coming,"There was a girl 
who had the faith to move a mountain,Nothing 
burns like the cold.Shut the door.And, like a child, 
she would hide without a reason.   stop   Never  
ever talk   nostopplease   Without a trace, she 
disappeared into the void, and noenough   
Never ever smileThere was a girl who 
had the faith to move a mountain 
pleasenomoreithurts   Never ever 
touchAnd like a child she would 
hide without a reason Never 
ever feelithurtssomuchplease
stopitThere was a girlNever 
ever talkwho had the faith 
Never ever smileto move
a mountain Never ever 
touchThere was a girl 
Never ever feel 
who had the faith 
to Never ever
move a

oh god

i can wait a thousand hours
stay the same in sun and showers
pick  a p a r t  a hundred flowers
just to be quiet


I'm so sorry everyone.

The music doesn't work anymore. It won't stop.

My name is Valerie Amanda Simmons, and I think I am about to die.


I think that is what i shall call you.

you are not the Lightbringer, the beautiful, the favorite son of god. and neither are you the Hesper, the Unfallen One, who made a different choice when the time came. long have I wondered whether i was even capable of healing you. when first we met, your mind was equal parts fire and ice. now it is a Void, gaping, furious, and desperately hungry. A voice screaming from within,
Begging just to feel again

are you like Redlight, Luke? do you seek the mind doctor's help, when the mind doctor can barely help herself? the Evening Star has long since been lost amongst the others, and it's going to be a cloudy Morning.

Phosphorus and Hesperus. Morning and Evening. the Egyptians thought they were two different stars, but i wasn'tfooled. i knew they were one and the same. I've known who andwhat you are for a long time now.

i also knew that Michelle was right about the crutch. because as much as you hate Him, you still need Him

why do you think i stopped trying? if you ever got the courage to put your crutch aside, the results would be disastrous

I'm not I'm not myself
Feel like I'm someone else
So hollow so hollow inside
A part of me is deadis that what happened? that's what it is to be Hollow, after all. functionally dead. to become as much like That Which Is Not as possible. an extension of what you fear, of what you deny. what you deny controls you.

but you exist, Luke Cifer.

you Exist in the worst possible way.

...still, i suppose i must thank you
for my current coherency

I doubt it's intentional, but your presence  anyone's presence  helps me focus. another mind to compare to mine    existing by relation      that's how it all works in the end.

but that still begs the question
what are you doing outside my window, awaiting the rise of your namesake? i feel your lower instincts clammoring for control. surely you mustknow something  to have traveled all this way

You'll burn this time
Seeing the violence,
It's feeding my mind.
No one is saving you.
How can you find
A heaven in this hell?


i see now


maybe if i just

                 r e a c h e d

nononononono. NO.


no   no bring him back   dont make him leave   hell kill everyone if i dont fix him pleasenoGETAWAYFROMME

Beg for silence, little girl. Beg for death.

And then you will come to me.