Sunday, April 24, 2011

No...

You know... I had a feeling from the beginning that going by my regular handle was probably a bad idea, but I figured, what harm could it do? I wasn't planning on going on fucking adventures, I wasn't planning on drawing attention to myself. I just wanted to help people. I just wanted to do what I can, while I can. I knew I would put myself in danger eventually, but I knew that, I had accepted that. I thought it wouldn't matter.

My mentality is a funny thing. I spend most of my time alone, even from my family. My mom always complains that she only sees me about once a week, even though I live at home. It... It gets to the point where I really do think I'm as isolated as I act. I start thinking that nothing that happens to me can affect the people I care about.

What a laugh that is, huh? I'm arrogant enough to think that I can help strangers, but it never occurred to me that I might also be arrogant enough to think that I wouldn't hurt my friends.

It's my fault. All of it. And now I'm dragging my best friend down with me.

Oh god, Michelle, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

5 comments:

  1. Now it's my turn to say "No."

    No, you don't GET to put this on yourself, hun. This... all of this is all MY fault. I did it to myself. Worse than that, I did it to YOU. I can own that, alright? It. isn't. your. fault. You told me to stay the hell away. I didn't. You begged me to leave it. I didn't. AND I NEARLY GOT YOU KILLED. That's on ME... and I will make it up to you. Somehow. I'm just... glad you're alright.

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  2. You wouldn't have gotten into all this if I hadn't been so stupid. It comes down to me in the end, don't try to deny it. I don't know what'll happen next, but I won't screw up again, I promise.

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  3. Bah! Quiet you! You did nothing wrong. You can't do anything now that it's happened. All you can do is make the future less of a hell. Now get on AIM so I can explain why you should stop mucking about further!

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  4. "[You] help people stay sane."

    But, what will you do if you're the one to lose your mind?

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  5. You used your normal handle, I sat my brother down and made him watch Marble Hornets. We all did things when we thought this was a game that we wish to every deity there is that we could take back. Feel bad if you need to, but that don't let it overwhelm you sweetie.

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