Friday, July 8, 2011


Shit shit shit I can't panic this time I can't I can't I can't.

But It was closer this time. Closer to the school. I think It remembers. Oh god I hope It doesn't remember.

I was just getting out of work and going to the train station. I had my iPod earphones in my ears. I put it on shuffle. I wasn't looking for any particular song, that's just the one that happened. It just happened.

I had barely crossed over to the next block when my earphones exploded with static. I ripped them out of my ears and instinctively looked around. Bad idea. I know paranoia and bolting at any little thing is a bad idea but I really need to start running at the first sign because as soon as I saw it I froze just like before and It-
-It was just standing there. Not looking around this time, just standing perfectly still. It was... I can't describe it. I don't want to say It looked like a mirage, because that's not it, but something about It... sort of glimmered, if "glimmer" had an opposite. And my earphones kept buzzing, I could hear it even down from my hand But the music didn't stop, not in my head.

Y'know that thing where a song you're familiar with suddenly cuts off, but you still automatically play the rest of it in your mind? That happened, but... the music changed somehow. It was still the same song, but the lyrics suddenly took on an entirely different meaning.

"The snowflakes fall
Gently to the ground.
The temperature drops, 
And your shivers freeze all the rivers around.
But I keep you warm.

"Peer over the edge.
Can you see me?
Rivulets flow from your eyes,
Paint runs from your mouth like a waterfall,
And your lungs crystallize."

I... You have no idea what it took for me to actually type out those lyrics. It's a perfectly innocent song, meant to be whimsical and lighthearted, but suddenly it seemed... not. All I could picture was someone peering into the abyss that stares back, crying and vomiting up blood as she slowly froze alive... and the abyss was offering to make the pain stop, to warm up the ice, but she couldn't reply because she was choking on her own blood...

But then some passerby jostled me and broke me out of my trance, and I blinked, and when I looked back, the monster was gone. So I immediately put my earphones back in and switched to my J-rock playlist. You can't misinterpret words you don't understand to begin with.

I don't think anyone saw me crying. If they did, they didn't ask.

I'm not going home. I'm going to take a very roundabout way back to my car, and then I'm going straight to Kay's. I just got off the phone with my mom to tell her so - once I could keep my voice from shaking, that is. She asked about clothes and whatnot, but I've been keeping spare clothes and other assorted supplies in my car for a while now, and told her so. "I've been being so spontaneous lately, I figured, why not?"

I need to be ready to run at a moment's notice, so I figure, why not?

...Oh god, this is it. It's really gunning for me now, isn't It?


  1. Oh shit, Ryuu.
    Relax. I know. It's hard.
    Welcome to the ranks of the slenderstalked, Ryuu. I'm so sorry that you've finally come to his attention.
    Remember, we're all here for you

  2. Yeah. Basically what Elaine said.

    You've got the right frame of mind really, be ready to run at a moments notice. I wish I'd packed when I ran but I wasn't prepared.

    And don't feel bad about freezing up. It happens. Okay?


  3. Last stand, it seems. S'might be bad, Ryuu, very, very, bad. Gunning it is an understatement. He has a plan and... be careful. For the love of god be careful.

  4. Ryuu, please be careful. Don't do anything risky. You're smarter than that. Stronger than that.

    Good luck. Looks like we all need some right about now.

  5. If the time come for you to need help, don't hesitate to ask, as many would volunteer to give you a hand.